We have built our relationship with Paul to a point where he generally welcomes hand contact and cautiously lets us share his space, most comfortably when sharing his rhythmical movements in a style of dance.
I visited Paul on a day where, on our arrival, staff said he was having a difficult day. Paul was laying on the sofa and he opened his eyes to look at us before closing them again. I tentatively approached and sat at the arm of the sofa nearest his feet as I sang hello. After this Paul sat up, turned and laid back down with his head nearest me; this felt an appreciative response to our presence.
When we visit someone it’s important that they know that we want to spend time with them however they are on any day as with any other valued relationships in life. We enter with an idea of what we might find but no expectations of how the session might run as this is all based on the person we are seeing.
I based my interaction on Paul’s subtle movements and slight vocalisations, responding to his breathing and giving acknowledgement to all of his expressions. Keeping my responses simple and easy-going alleviates any perception of expectation he may have.
As Paul was seeming relaxed in our company I offered him my hand. He responded by reaching his hand up and, surprisingly to me, he pulled my hand to his cheek. This was my first occasion of Paul requesting contact that was not to his hands. I maintained this position with him for over ten minutes before he arose to check the kitchen, and I was delighted when he returned, resumed his position, and immediately reached to replace my hand on his cheek again.
We remained in this ‘just so’ way until the end of our session and I felt privileged to be able to offer him a moment of comfort on a difficult day.
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